GET UNSTUCK: 3 WAYS TO BECOME MORE FLEXIBLE

Modern life is being experienced with more sticky situations than ever before. People are complaining of being "stuck" between a rock and a hard place, a loop, or a quagmire. "Stuck" is used to explain a complicated experience of changing from one thing to another. The process of change, the experience of change, the logic of change, and the details of change add up to being overwhelmed, and uncertain of what to do.

We are finding ourselves stuck in many challenging circumstances. Family, personal habits, grief, illness, career change, legal issues, and relocation are very stressful on us. Being stuck is a problem we must learn to solve because it is impacting our lifestyle and identity.

Emerging Strength is about finding your strength and one of the ways to do that is to become more flexible. Becoming more flexible can ease the pain and suffering associated with overwhelming and uncertain changes. Let's look at 3 qualities that enhance flexibility: being present in the moment, defusion, and acceptance.

Being Present In the Moment

The first quality of flexibility is being present in the moment. We can live our lives unaware of thoughts, feelings, and impulses to act. These are powerful inner forces that shape our daily lives and experiences. When we pay attention to thoughts, feelings, and impulses to act, we gain some control over our choices. We can then make choices on purpose rather than autopilot. Mindfulness is about being fully present in the here and now. When we are mindless it's like watching black and white television and when we are mindful it is more like watching T.V. in 4K. The mindful approach is a richer, fuller version. It empowers us to be flexible in the moment. (Mindfulness has other benefits too.)

Fusion and Defusion

The second quality of flexibility is defusion. This is the strength of connection between us and some other element, object, expectation, or outcome. When we are completely welded or enmeshed with a thing we become rigid and inflexible. Whatever happens to that thing is happening to us. By breaking down the welds between us and the object we can create separation. The separation allows us to have some wiggle room or breathing space. This space makes room for change. In this way it helps people go through changes with less resistance.

Acceptance

The third quality of flexibility is acceptance. This is the act of tolerance, agreeing to receive something, or surrendering. A person who is accepting is open and willing to deal with whatever comes. We are often the most stuck because we want what we want and we don't want it any other way. This tends to bind us with the very thing we don't want. Increasing our willingness to permit or tolerate something is a route to greater freedom from the thing we don't want. For example, when you do the thing you fear the fear has less power over you.

Life's Sticky Situations

A life transition is a movement from one place or stage in life to another. It involves changes to the way we think, feel, and act. These transitions reshape our identity and they are some of the stickiest situations we ever face. They can be natural or man-made. Natural transitions are a part of the human lifespan. Man-made transitions come from life in the modern world. Whatever challenging situation you may find yourself in, flexibility is a strength that can help you out. Get coaching to find your strength and make progress.

Natural Transitions

Becoming an adult, parent, or elder
Death, grief, loss
Pregnancy
Illness

Man-Made Transitions

Freedom from addiction and habits
Career and educational choices
Retirement
DUI & Legal Issues
Relocation
Married life
Change in community and belonging

Summary

Flexibility is one of many ways to help people change in the middle of life's circumstances. Change is often complicated in ways that impact our sense of identity and lifestyle. This can be highly disruptive and unsettling. When these conditions persist for long periods of time we can feel stuck and need help making changes. Stuck should not become the new normal. Being stuck has a resistance that can be overcome with flexibility. This can be enhanced with present moment awareness, defusion, and acceptance. Find your strength by increasing flexibility.